What Have YOU Been Putting Off?

I stare at the blank page of white before me.  The task that I have at hand seems daunting and always has.  Yet that voice from deep down inside of me whispers...write anyway.  Ok, I yell back drinking my coffee and eating Milk Duds.  Something I never, ever do, but seems to be my way of coping with the anxiety I have created from my daunting task.  Maybe it’s just daunting because I keep saying it is.  Maybe the dark cloud I feel myself in can be removed with a single type of the keys.  I have been wanting to write a book for at least 11 years now and I believe maybe even longer.  For the longest time the excuse was, who will want to read what I have to say?  What makes me think I have anything of value to talk about?   Or, the kicker I am not good enough to do that.  

I have found every possible excuse why not to do what I have so dreamed of doing.  If even just for myself!  Writing has been a way of expressing myself and a way of releasing stress.  I was always afraid of what people would have to say about my writing, afraid I would hurt someone I love if my book got published, afraid that I would FAIL!  I have finally, by the grace of God, gotten to a place where I don’t care any more.  Even if the book goes out to 5 people and it is because I Gave it to them, I don’t care.  There comes a time in your creative life where you just have to say this is what I am going to do and I am going to do it for me and no one else and if other people like it and get something out of it, then that is a huge bonus.  

For so long I was worried about writing to my audience.  I would be writing and then stop and think oh, no what if my audience doesn’t like that, or this.  Which would then leave me starring at my computer screen at a blank sheet after deleting everything I had just put down.  There are many people out there who have studied what you need to do to get your book published, to know your audience and sell millions of copies.  You can sit and study all of that until you are blue in the face, but at the end of the day you probably still have not written your book, or even a page of it.  Maybe after you have written one book, then you can start studying and know the facts for how to get it out there and yes, you should have an outline and a general idea of what you are doing.  

But my advice, more to myself than anyone else, is just to write your book for you.  Write what you want to write on the first draft and don’t think about anyone else.  Just write.  Because then you will get some where.  Then you will begin to believe in yourself and what you have to say and then you will begin to put your book together.  And who knows, maybe no one will read it, or maybe you will be a best-seller, but at least at the end of the day you can say I did what I wanted to do for ME.  And really what is more important than that!?!  

Monthly Manifesting Sessions...

When was the last time you stopped what you were doing and used your imagination?  I am pretty sure that a majority of people would say not since they were 10.  We are told as children to stop imagining things, we are socially programmed in school to think in different ways then our inherent way of imagining.  We are programmed by our families, our culture, our school, our government and even our tv.  We are taught to fit in, study hard, obey rules and people of authority.  But never along the way did someone keep saying focus on your imagination.

Well I am asking you to imagine again.  To use that childlike part of you that dreams and visualizes things.  The subconscious mind does not know the difference between a real or an IMAGINED EVENT!  I can't stress that enough!  So our minds think that what we imagine is real, so we might as well be using that bit of knowledge to our advantage.  This is how the Law of Attraction works.  This is how what we think becomes our reality!  So if you are imagining not having any money to do what you want, not having the love of your life with you, not having friends, etc. so shall your life be.  IF you can begin to imagine your life as you would like it to be and begin to assume the feeling that it is already that way.....you begin to change your life!

This is not some woo woo crazy, hippie talk....I have seen this work in my own life and in the life of my clients.  It is physics.  It is a law.  Your THOUGHTS CREATE YOUR REALITY!  If you change your thoughts, you change your life.  That is all there is to it.  

"Everything is energy.  That's all there is to it.  Match the frequency of the reality that you want and you cannot help but get that reality.  It can be no other way.  This is not philosophy.  This is physics."  Albert Einstein

Join me Friday, Oct. 26 from 7-8:30 pm for the first Monthly Manifesting Sessions.  Where we come together as two or more gathered to use our imaginations to create the life we have always wanted.  I will be leading us through a very powerful visualization that opens us up to allowing the imagination to work and then sets those imaginings into our energetic field.  This work has been so transformational in my life and in the life of many clients.  Please rsvp and tell a friend.  I am so excited to share this with you!

If Love Could Talk, What Would It Say?

What are the fears of really letting go and being in a relationship?  Something I have been wanting and as the time approaches for me to go and see someone very special every fear imaginable begins to surface.  I realize I have never fully let go in a relationship.  I realize that I shut down, nearly every time I thought there was even the slightest chance of getting hurt.  I would shut down and push people away.  I have never felt safe.  I have never felt safe to fully be myself, safe to really be with someone with full abandon, safe to fully let go with someone.  I have never felt safe my whole life because I did not grow up in an environment where I felt safe.  I carried that feeling of protecting myself, of creating a tough wall around me into my adult life and it showed up in my relationships.  In my first couple of relationships I was able to let go and feel safe, but any heartbreak just added fuel to my already protective fire.  Then the walls started being built with very thick substances.  I blamed the men I dated thinking they were the one’s with the problem, they couldn’t commit, weren’t consistent, were emotionally unavailable.  Maybe they were, but we are always attracting our mirror.  I was the one that was all of those things and more.  Mostly just afraid.  I didn’t know how to feel safe around anyone else.  It never proved to work out well for me.  Now that I am on the edge of jumping in again, those fears have resurfaced to show their ugly heads.  I choose to live life fearlessly, so I say hello to them and acknowledge them, not allowing them to go back down into the depths of me for hiding and then reappearing again later.  

There are so many differences between love and fear.  A lot of us would run if they were feeling the feelings that I have felt these few days.  There are so many reasons to not jump into the unknown, because it is very scary.  I have always had a love affair with the unknown, seeing it as a pool of treasures to explore.  Each time I have jumped in, I have come up with the best gem.  But it is still scary.  Walking up to the edge of that unknown pool and sticking your big toe in and saying “Oooo, it feels different this time, oooo, I don’t know.  This could be dangerous.”  But I am ready to jump in again.  Knowing that there is something waiting for me down in it’s depths.  Fear would run now.  Fear would say don’t do that, don’t go there.  Love says it’s all going to work out well, now come here with open arms.  

I wondered what love looks like?  Is love joyful all the time?  Does love ever get tired?  Are there levels to love, or is it always the same?  What happens when it fades away?  How is that even possible?  If love could talk to you what would it say?  

A few years ago I wrote a poem that seems fitting for this piece.  It’s called Roses.

I walk by the roses, red, white and pink.  I am reminded.

You are there.  You ask, “Do you know what has the highest vibrational frequency?”

The rose.

You take me to the rose garden.

But there are no roses, it is winter.

You hold me anyway and we laugh into the nothingness.

The velvetness of your skin soothes my pain.

Your smile melts away my distrust.

In your arms I am protected from all harm.

Lifetimes pass by my eyes.

Darkness.

Light.

In this moment the world does not exist.

I see through to your soul, I know it well.

I see the goodness.

But the roses are no where to be found.

When I find them, I see you.

I thought you had left for good.

But you like the roses went away for a while.  Hibernation.  Fear.

You came back blossoming open even more.  

I feel safe again for a moment.

The last petal falls to the ground and you are gone.    

I choose love now.  Love over fear.  I can’t live in fear any more.  So I thank the fears for their lessons, for their awakenings in me.  I step confidently into the light of love.  Knowing that it is the only way to live now.  There can not be any more fear, not now at this pivotal time with this consciousness.  I choose to not shut down any more to anyone.  I choose to be open and loving.  Let's choose love.  Love in every moment.  Love over fear.  Let's all jump...

Love and light,

Erin