Assume the FEELING of what you want!!

I was watching Wayne Dyer the other day talking about his new book “Wishes Fulfilled.” In it he says “A change of feeling is a change of destiny.” What he is saying is simply thinking and wishing for what it is that you want is not enough, you must live as if it has already happened and harness the feeling of what it feels like to have that thing in your body.

“Right now you can use your powerful imagination to assume you are what at the moment your senses and reason deny.

Walk in this assumption, knowing you are all imagination, and all things are possible to you.

Dare to believe in the reality of your assumption and watch the world play its part relative to its fulfillment.” Neville

So, for instance if you are wanting a significant relationship, you begin to visualize what that relationship looks like to you, how you act together, where you go, what you do. Then you begin to thank your higher source for that person, even when in reality he/she is not there at this moment, you “act as if” and have gratitude anyway. Lastly, you assume the feeling of what it is that you are wanting to call in. So you feel what it feels like to sleep next to this person, how they are affectionate with you, how they make you laugh, etc. You assume the feeling by the power of your incredible imagination. The cool thing is that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between a real, or an imagined event. As your subconscious mind begins to believe that the assumed feeling is real, then your body begins feeling those feelings of what that feels like and therefore...wait for it....it becomes your Current Reality, by the Law of Attraction!! What we put out into the world, be it thoughts, emotions, feelings, vibrations, words we get back to us.

One thing you must understand...you have created the reality you are in right now. Now if your current reality is not so hot, well take a moment to digest that thought. It can be hard to realize that we are responsible for our current reality to some extent. Some terrible things do happen and we think well I could never have created that, nor wanted it. That is true and I have experienced some really tragic things that I did not want, or think about, but I learned from them and those tragic events played a big part in shaping and moving me in new directions. Although extremely painful and not easy to move through, I came out a different person on a different path then where I started and I believe it was something I was meant to go through in a lot of ways to push me there. It is a matter of choice how we look at tragic events in our lives. I chose to find what that event really meant to me on a very deep level.

For the most part, we create our realities by the very thoughts that we think. Most of these thoughts we are not even aware of and are in our subconscious mind, which makes up 90% of our mind. Yogi Bhajan says that every time we blink 1000 thoughts get put in our subconscious mind. That is a lot! So if you don’t have a daily practice of watching your thoughts and doing meditation, these subconscious thought forms can get stuck there and create some not so great things that play out in your daily life. The good news is that there are lots of different techniques out there to release these thoughts. Two of my favorite practices for releasing subconscious thought forms are Kundalini yoga and Theta (Healing) Works.

It is about retraining our subconscious mind, otherwise known as our habitual mind. Our subconscious is what we use for the most part, unless we are being very conscious and aware, such as when meditating or doing yoga. Our subconscious mind drives our car, especially on routes that you take often. Have you ever gotten home from work and couldn’t remember the drive there? That was your subconscious mind driving.

Our body responds to what’s in the subconscious mind. So if there is a bunch of negative thoughts in there, then the body is taking on that stress, fear, anger, anxiety, etc. The body is responding to those subconscious thoughts both positive and negative. Are we beginning to see why it is so important to keep the subconscious mind healthy!?! Not only that, but to monitor our conscious thoughts and if they are negative, replace them with positive ones. Also, to assume the feeling of what you want to create.

Wayne Dyer says, on the most basic, yet profound level we must assume the feeling of love. As we begin to assume the feeling of love we can change our reality. It starts with us first. Begin to assume the feeling of love and whatever it is that your heart desires, assume the feeling of it and so it shall be! It is based on the law of attraction. When we think negatively we get negative results, when we think positive and feel how beautiful life is, we have that feeling of well-being and you can’t deny that good things come to you, people are nicer to you when you feel that way and radiate that out in the world.

It sounds simple but it is not, we have been trained to think negatively by our society. Turn on the nightly news if you need a dose of negativity, it is every where. But we can change our thought patterns into more positive thoughts and therefore change our lives. Just start catching yourself in a negative thought and reaffirm in the positive. So “I look not so hot today and I can’t pay my credit card bill,” becomes “I am beautiful, bountiful and blissful today and always.” I have to laugh here because on some level it seems so simple and it is, but the trick is to catch yourself in the act of that negative thought.

“We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own.” ~Ben Sweetland

Be your own light, and be the light you wish to see in others. It all starts with us first and it starts with our thoughts. We have been given these amazing imaginations that can come up with anything we desire and really visualize it. Let’s use the power of our imaginations to create the life we desire. Releasing the old, unwanted and negative parts that don’t serve us any more. Use the power of mantra to help the mind adjust to this new way of being. Repeating things like “I am peaceful.” “I am joyful.” “I am loved.” “I am prosperous,” etc can really help shift the thoughts. So have a personal mantra of whatever it is that you are wanting to bring in.

Wayne Dyer also said that the 5 minutes before you go to bed are crucial. Our subconscious mind is open while we sleep and how we wake up the next day affects our entire day. So instead of laying in bed worrying about work tomorrow, money, your relationship, etc think positively before going to bed. Have gratitude for your day, your home, your family whatever you want to be grateful for and then repeat your mantras of what you want to bring in AND assume the feeling that you already have it. Then have a beautiful night’s sleep.

Trust yourself, trust the process and lets all walk into the light of our destiny together and never ever look back.

Love and light,

Erin

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

The Time is NOW!

I have never felt more certain that the time for letting go of excuses of why you haven't done that thing you always wanted to do is now. We are being asked, each and every one of us to step into what we really want, to step into our bliss and to step into our magnificence. We have all been shown how the systems that are currently in place are not working for us any more. The way we have been doing things can not sustain us much longer and we will see big shifts happen in our world as the old systems begin to break down.

We have been living in a culture of affluence, which is a term used in psychology. It describes a culture that values 'stuff' over people, competition over cooperation and the individual over the group. This is the structure that is changing as we all begin to wake up and see that things really do work better if we cooperate with each other. The concept of cooperation will be key in this new year. It is not a time to go into chaos though, it is a time to go into deep peace and know that it is all happening for a greater good and our greater good.

What are some ways that you can become more cooperative in your family, job, neighborhood, and community? Think outside the box. Maybe it is just giving a smile to everyone you come across one day. Maybe it's buying something for a stranger, helping an elderly woman out of her car, or buying a homeless man a sandwich. There are so many things that you can do to make a difference in your world and to be more cooperative with those around you.

A text that I sent to a friend of mine: Patience my friend. Live for traveling and rainbows, sunsets and magic. Live for the beauty that you are and the light that you bring to others.

We all have the ability to bring light to those we interact with. We also have the choice to bring negative energy to the people we come into contact with. It is about shifting our own awareness that helps us shift the people around us. That allows us to uplift those around us, literally without doing a thing. Just by being who we are in our highest state of being.

"And as the light of one candle can light thousands of candles, you must first illuminate your own consciousness. Awaken your own awareness. Then you can help. Then you can serve." Harijiwan

We have to live each day forward for what brings us happiness and peace. We have to recognize if we are stressed out about something, fearful of something, resisting something. Those are the things/people/situations that we begin to let go of. As we begin to live each day for what brings us joy and happiness the world around us changes. It's time to stop making excuses. It's time to live for what you truly want. It's time to step, one step at a time into living the life you truly want, a life you only thought was possible in a dream. The time is definitely now and you are here for a purpose during this special time in our history. It is up to you to find that purpose.

Follow the desires of your heart. Listen to them, their whispers are speaking to you for a reason. Stop making the excuses not to listen. They are the drum beat that keep you moving forward. Open up and listen...

Love and Light,

Erin

A Blank Canvas

Happy Holidays! Well, after 9 months of living in Bali and Thailand and visiting 8 different countries, I am back in Los Angeles. Now that I am back, I am reminded with how I had a difficult time with my decision to leave. I didn’t know what would happen to me if I left my comfort zone and headed out into the unknown. I didn’t know if I would make it out there alone, living in another country with a foreign language. But looking back on the whole journey I am so grateful that I took it. I have changed and expanded in so many ways and now know that if I can do that, I can do anything.

I think that is the way with the unknown, with setting out to do something you have never done before, with something you have always wanted to do. We let fear get in the way and sometimes we let the fear take control and we stay put right where we are instead of taking that step towards our goal, our dream, or what we truly want. I could have come up with a long list of reasons not to go do the one thing I so badly wanted to, but the reality is I knew the pain of not knowing would be so much worse. So with a little bit of money in my pocket, I decided to take that leap of faith and set out on this world traveling journey alone.

What I gained from making that decision I will carry with me forever. I learned that no matter where I go, I am taken care of if I just allow myself to trust that. If I allow myself to let go of the fear of HOW it will all work out and just trust, it always works out. Fear and resistance will always play their part in our life until we are aware of them and go about transforming fear and resistance into a deep love and understanding of all there is. Everywhere I went someone looked out for me, as if I had little guardian angels all over the planet. Even when I had my motor bike accident, so many people helped me by giving me different ointments to care for and even bandage my wounds. I learned how to live with barely anything, just what can fit in a backpack and that that is enough. I learned that I can make a home any where I go and be comfortable, it is just a state of mind. That to me was so important, because I think we get very caught up in material things and think that we need all of those things to be happy. I learned to be happy with next to nothing. It does not mean that I do not want material things and that I think that people that have a lot are not truly happy, it just means that I learned how to live without those things and now I can be even more grateful when I have them and see that it is not the thing that makes me happy, but that happiness comes from deep inside me.

I learned that as soon as we get so busy trying to “figure it out,” something will knock us down and put us out for a week so we are unable to figure anything out except how to go deep inside and find peace even in the chaos. I learned that after you get knocked down, you get up and keep going, this time with more peace and more trust than before. I have learned to let people be who they are. You can not change them and you waste so much time and energy attempting to do so. Allow people to be who they are, anything else is just judgement on our part. The minute you let go of trying to change others, there is a tremendous sense of peace and relaxation. You feel free in a lot of ways. The only way we can change others is by changing our self. By coming into our own highest vibration of joy, gratitude and appreciation others around us see this and want to know what we are up to. Why are you so happy when the world is crumbling around you? Why are you so happy when the economy is bad? Why are you so joyful when you do not currently have money coming in, or a place to live? How can you be joyful? Well the answer is to look at life not as it is, but as you want it to be. If all we do is think about how we do not currently have money, love, the job of our dreams, then that causes frustration, stress and anger. Law of Attraction says that what we put out, we get back, so we get more stress, frustration and anger and continue with a cycle of the same. If we think and speak in terms of what we want, regardless of the presenting circumstance, then we attract that too us. It is a law! So, I came back to LA without a car, house or job. I got a car beyond my imagination and a friend let me rent his Mercedes Benz for a very reasonable price. The power of thinking beyond our imaginations!

Can we begin to think and speak in terms of what we want? Think of everything in terms of energy, in terms of vibration. What you speak has a very strong vibration, so if you are constantly speaking in negative terms, there is a good chance there are some negative circumstances in your life. Your thoughts also cause a vibration that goes out into the universe, again everything is energy, so if you are thinking in negative terms there is a good chance there is some negativity in your realm. How can you change it? Well the first step is awareness. If you are aware of what you speak and think, that is a huge step. The next step is to begin to change your thought patterns to catch yourself when a negative one comes in and to cancel it out and replace it with a positive. To catch yourself when you speak in terms of what you don’t want, or negative statements. Then begin to switch them into positive. You can learn to do this by meditation and visualization. Lastly, you begin to focus on what you want through visualizing that exact thing. You stay focused on what you want and that becomes your one and only job. All throughout your day, continual reminders of what you want.

I believe we spend a lot of time focusing on the actions of other people and how they should be different, I am speaking from experience here, but if we allow others to be who they are and focus that much energy on ourselves and what we want, we can change our life. Creating unity within is the idea that as we find our own peace and let go of all fear and resistance and become fully present in our hearts we can become the change we wish to see. As we create our own unity within, our external world begins to become more unified as well. So we literally become the change we want to see. The world around us changes as we let go of fear and resistance.

Then no matter what it is that you want, no matter what your presenting circumstances are, you can have it, but not until you think and know that you can. So the journey continues now back in Los Angeles. So many exciting new ideas and projects to look forward to. A new chapter and a clean slate. I can create anything I want on this blank canvas before me. I am excited, joyful and grateful for all of the beautiful people in my life that have helped me along the way. I thank you all so much.

Love and light,

Erin

www.mypurelightyoga.com

Cultivating More JOY!!

This life is but a glimpse of the joy and beauty that is all around us, beyond what our eyes can see. We are creating this canvas in front of us. We are breathing life into it everyday. The beauty I see around me overwhelms me at times and I get dizzy. It is comforting knowing that I have done this all with my paintbrush, with my thoughts, feelings and desires of wanting to be some where and...poof there I am. I have often wondered where my inspiration would come from. I came to Bali to finish my book, yet in 4 months I have not written much. I often questioned if it was due to laziness, if I preferred sitting around in cafes sipping lattes and reading, or catching up with the many interesting souls that I have crossed paths with here in unique Ubud.

Life here just seems to take you in, spin you around and pretty soon a few months have passed by. At the same time it is preparing you, gently giving you lessons to overcome, helping you to grow and expand in ways you never even considered before. The joy that this journey has given me is beyond words. In fact, I have found my joy here. I have gotten in touch with a part of myself that I never knew. I have found my true me, the one that is oh-so-wise, beautiful and creative. I have found true beauty. I don’t accredit this all to myself, I have some amazing teachers and here in Bali it is Laurel Satori that has helped me to see things in a much clearer light. Her ability to call me out on things, when I am not in my truth and her wisdom I am forever grateful for.

I have been determined, dedicated and working hard, but not at all in the ways that I thought I would be. I thought I would spend endless hours in cafes writing, to set my sights on my first novel. Instead, I have been spending endless hours getting rid of old programming that no longer serves me, finding my joy, getting in touch with my true power and the essence of who I am. In short, creating a new me. A stronger, more in her-own-version that understands things on a different level. A doesn’t loose sight of her joy so quickly version. I have to give myself a pat on the back for all that work. We should all acknowledge ourselves more.

In this crazy, beautiful thing we call life, we spend time building up walls to protect ourselves from people, lovers, things in our environments, then we spend just as long knocking them down to be more free, more open to discover new parts of ourselves that didn’t exist before. It can be tiring, exhausting and a lot of work, but it doesn’t have to be. It is just one big beautiful flow of energy working on us, asking us to open more to that ever present flow that is always around us. That dancing joy that is always calling us, asking us to join it in its dance. We are meant to be in our joy! It is a fact. But there are so many circumstances and things that try to get in our way. I say stay committed to joy. Let that be your one and only job and goal in life. If something, or someone wants to try and take you out of your joy, stay focused on joy, find something that brings you back to that joy. Abraham Hicks says: If we were talking to you on your first day here we would say “Welcome to planet Earth. There is nothing that you cannot be, do, or have. And your work here-your life career-is to seek joy.”

I say don’t make it so hard. Have more fun, more laughter, more love and more joy than you ever thought possible. Why do we all try to make it so hard? How does that really serve us in the long-run? There is so much to discover in this world. So many beautiful things to see. So many books to read, paintings to paint, dances to be danced. There is so much here, why do we focus on what we don’t have, where we want to be and negative things in the world?

I meet more people who love to go off on little rants about this terrible thing and that horrible thing and all the bad people and all of their bad ways of doing things and how this world is going to pot. Well the next time someone decides to throw their verbal junk on me, I am just going to smile and say that I really need to use the restroom and politely walk away. Or, maybe I will say have you looked up at the sky today? When was the last time you saw all the stars twinkling at you from above? On second thought, maybe I will ask that person if I have the words “garbage disposal” written across my forehead, because they are spewing all of their garbage at me. There is so much beauty here and so many people are lost in all the negative. I also meet a lot of people who are just feel really lost right now. Not sure what they are doing, or what is next for them, or where they are going, unhappy by it all.

A lot of people feel lost right now it is true, but it is because they have gotten so far away from their true nature, that part of them that knows everything and has no fears, doubts, or worries. If they could only get still and quiet long enough to connect with that part things would change. They would begin seeing the joy that is their true nature. Things happen, good or bad, things happen in life. But why do we get so attached to those things. “Oh, my relationship is failing, I lost my job, I don’t have any friends, I don’t have as much money, or success as I thought I would by now.” Get out of your heads! Get into your hearts! Things are going to happen, but if we step away from what we see as the disaster of our life and realize it is just an experience that we chose to have, then we see how we can change it. We see that it doesn’t have to be that way. We see that there is a part of us that is asking us to change to move farther away from fear and step into love. Until we learn to do that, we may keep having these types of experiences come up.

I am here, I would like to hear your stories. Most importantly I want to know...what are you painting on the canvas of your life today? What can you do to be more in your joy...today? I love hearing from you! I am visioning you all in so much love, light and JOY!

The first organ to develop in a human fetus...the heart!

Have you stopped to listen to your heart today? One of my dear friends called and told me she was pregnant. It reminded me that the heart is the first organ that develops in a human fetus. The First organ that develops!

This got me thinking. If the heart is the first organ that develops, why do we not listen to it All the time!! Why then do we consult first to our brains to sort out our life, our hopes and dreams? The heart comes first in our development, it should also come first in our decision making. But all too often we get caught up in our heads. Trying to figure it out, crunch numbers, trying to see if we can afford this or that, coming up with a thousand different reasons why following our heart may not make sense. So we settle for less than what our heart’s purest intent is and we end up unsatisfied.

I invite you to stop what you are doing, place a hand on your belly and a hand on your heart. Begin to tune in to that inner awareness, your chest moving up and down with each breath, your belly expanding and contracting, the beat of your heart and begin to listen. Really Listen to your heart. Begin to mentally thank your body, your organs, all of your cells and your heart for all that it does tirelessly, selflessly day in and day out. All the processes that are happening every second of every day that you are not even aware of. Thank your body. Thank your heart. Begin to tune in and listen to what it has to say. What do you want in your life, I mean Really want with passion? If there were no restraints on money and you could do, go and be absolutely anything...what would that be? Don’t let your head get in the way, just pause and listen to the heart. Sit with this for a while until something comes. It will come. Something will come through. Even if it is just that your heart wants more peace...some message will be delivered to you.

The heart is the first organ that develops, but can you hear what it is trying to say? We come into this world with a fresh, clean slate and as children we only know love. We only know how to give and receive love. But as time goes on the layers of junk and the walls begin to form a “protective” barrier around our precious heart. With good reason, we don’t want to get hurt any more than we already have. So with each new heartbreak we put up yet another wall. Until pretty soon the wall becomes so thick that even a sledgehammer could not put a dent in it. When our wall has become this thick, it is hard to hear it any more, we can not get the message from the heart, so we rely fully on the brain to do all the work. We end up feeling tired, frustrated and unhappy from living a life from our head and not our heart.

I can relate fully to this, which is why I can write about it. I was working at a job I hated, to pay the bills and live a life I thought I wanted, but in reality when I got still and listened I wanted to be free from it all. I wanted to live in another country and experience things I had never gotten the chance to experience. Every time I get still and listen some new tidbit of information comes to me and I learn even more about my heart’s purest intent. I have recently learned that I want to make a documentary. I never thought I would get back in the film industry, but my heart is calling me back there. My heart called me to Bali and I listened and it has been a wild, beautiful and amazing ride just in the two months I have been here. There is more to come and I am so thankful I listened to my heart on that one! I have never experienced a time where following my heart did not make me happy. It has just never happened for me!

What is your heart’s purest intent? Get still and listen. Our heart develops first, it is also the last organ to stop in our body when we die. The first and the last. It is vital that we begin listening to it. It is vital that we begin living from it. It is vital that we get out of our heads and into our heart. To let down our walls and be more open. So take a moment to pause, listen and see what it has to say.

From my heart to yours wishing you lots of love and light,

Erin

Learning to Trust...

I want to savor this moment. This one right here.

I am learning that life is a lot like driving a motorbike in a foreign country for the first time. It is crazy, it is dangerous at times and there is a sweetness when you learn to trust yourself even with something you are unsure of and that trust flows into other areas of your life. It can be a positive experience, or it can be negative. The sweetness comes in truly trusting yourself and knowing that you can do whatever you put your mind to.

I was very scared of driving a motorbike. I had never driven one and especially not in another country where there are motorbikes all over the place and from the outside it looks like complete chaos. I was scared I would fall, scrape myself up, or run into someone and do some serious damage. It took me a week to get comfortable with the idea of driving a bike, but after riding with a friend and feeling a need for the freedom that getting on a bike gives you, I decided to go a head with the idea. The practice session went well, so I went to the shop and rented my bike. While driving I felt completely unsure of myself. I was wobbly on the bike and didn’t have the gas/break system quite down yet and nearly rear-ended a van. After a few days of driving around Ubud, Bali I began to get more and more comfortable. I felt now like I trust my driving skills, I trust myself and my ability to get me where I need to go safely. Slowly the wobbling went away and was replaced by a deep sense of trust.

I think life is a lot like that. There are times we don’t fully trust ourselves and consequently we feel out of balance, unaligned and there is a feeling like things are not really working out for us. When we can fully trust ourselves and the process of our life, to trust the flow that is always moving and changing with us right in the middle, then things begin to change. To open up and transform like never before.

When have you not trusted yourself and your process? How did this make you feel? At what times has this occurred and what was the outcome? Did anything change after you began to trust? I find that just like I felt on the motorbike, I begin to feel wobbly when I do not trust myself. I feel off balance and out of sync with the universe. I feel like I can’t find the right words, the creativity that I want to come through, or the ability to feel comfortable in my own skin. There are times that I still have to check in with myself and make sure that I am trusting myself and staying true to me. I feel like I can be a cameleon at times, something I learned at an early age to blend in wherever I go. That is a beautiful thing to be, but I come up against the challenge of truly being myself and seeing what that looks like. Sometimes it changes, I like one thing one minute and not the next, I want to wear something outrageous that I would not wear in the past, but choose to now. It is a constant evolution and I am a constant evolution, the world is a constant evolution. I just want to stay true to myself and my experience of it all through all the change. I have a deep compassion for that. But when I let go and trust the flow of life, but more importantly myself, things change. I change. I feel stronger, more solid and I feel more free. Like this is Me, I am trusting, I love myself and this process however messy and beautiful it may be.

Can we trust through the messy times, as well as those sweet, beautiful moments where everything is working in our favor? It is in the sweetness of trusting the messiness that we really dive deeper into what is, that is where the real treasure lies. To trust that there is a bigger picture than we are aware of, that this is all happening for a greater good. I choose to trust myself, even when I am feeling a bit wobbly, I choose to trust to know that I can do this, all this and more. I feel the freedom in that.

So, as I get back on the bike, day after day with this trust slowly the wobbling goes away. It is replaced by a deep sense of knowing, a strong foundation that carries me into the heart of the chaos, the heart of the beautiful messiness that are the streets of Ubud and life in general.

I begin to let go completely and trust this experience and the next with a savoring of the moment, like one might keep a really yummy dessert in their mouth to savor it for a while. I savor each moment with that kind of awareness and intention.

Love and light,

Erin

Uluru and some alone time in the desert

Beautiful Uluru, the third chakra of the world. An astonishingly large rock in the middle of the desert outback of Australia. Nothing else around it just a towering rock. When I first arrived at this place the desert heat had its way with me and I was immediately cranky, it was so hot.

I began wondering how I was going to manage five days in this atmosphere with nothing to do but hike in the heat, sit by the pool and think. Being alone in an environment like this made it even more challenging. So needless to say the first day was pretty rough. I began questioning everything, why I thought leaving my friends, family and dog was a good idea. What was I going to do about my business that had just begun to take off? How would I ever get ahead if I decided to journey like this? Why hadn’t I done this when I was younger? The questions were non-stop running through my head like a steam train and going against all that I know I attached myself to them and let myself be carried away on the tracks headed down a deep dark road leading no where. I began feeling as mad as the Mad Hatter. Especially after the next day of hiking around the entire rock of Uluru (almost 7 miles, a 3.5 hour walk) in the scorching heat, this was when the real madness set in. I began thinking of ex boyfriends, of things I wanted to do with my life and getting upset that they hadn’t happened yet, of wanting things that I did not have, but mostly thinking what am I doing here? I also began thinking of all the places in Australia that I would rather be than right where I was, at a beautiful, sacred place that is unlike any other in the world.

So that is a classic example of what our thoughts can do to us if we attach to them and the emotion that comes with them. I was exhausted, mentally and physically and felt like I was failing in my life. Why could I not stay in one place, get a good job and settle down with a husband, kid, dog and white picket fence? Why did I constantly seek out change and adventure and knowledge of the world? Why couldn’t I just be “normal,” whatever that is? I cursed the rock, the whole experience and the fact that I was stuck in this damn desert for 5 days! I began looking for my escape root, maybe I could catch an earlier flight to Darwin and then get to Bali quicker. That was the best I could come up with, the problem being that the phone I have can only call people in Australia and the internet at this place is $1 for 6 minutes and super slow. Unless I wanted to pay a million dollars to sit there for hours switching flights and things, I was stuck. I called Kelsey back in Melbourne, who like the good friend and wise woman that she is said you are there for a reason and the things that you miss at home are good, that is what traveling does, it makes you realize the things that are most important to you and the rest, well it doesn’t matter. Soon after I said do you mind looking at tickets for me to change flights, to which she replied “absolutely not, you need to be there right now. If you are still going mad tomorrow, well maybe we can talk then.” I knew she was right and I knew the words of wisdom she gave me long before I ever picked up the phone, but the problem that comes when we attach ourselves to our thoughts and emotions is that like a wave in the ocean we get swept away by them and suddenly anything and everything we knew can go out the door, all we are is the thought and the emotion. We really are not even ourselves any more, we just become that thought and emotion. More importantly and more frightening is that we loose track of reality and the magic of the current moment we are in. We could be in one of the most stunning and beautiful places on earth and not even be enjoying it because our mind is in the driver’s seat and we are being driven crazy! This is exactly what was happening to me. I was in a beautiful place, full of sacredness and I was going mad. I think this happens to us a lot.

How many times have you been some where amazing, or out with good friends, or doing something special but you just could not fully enjoy it? Did you ever ask yourself why? What was stopping you from enjoying that experience? You were the thing stopping you from enjoying that, or anything for that matter. I was not enjoying myself and yeah I could have blamed it on the weather, being so hot, or bugs, or lack of company, but the reality is that I was stopping myself from having a good time because I was focused on the negative. I was focused on the past and was experiencing thoughts that were making me feel like I was less than what I should be in that moment, or ever. When does a thought like that make us feel good, or not suffer-the answer is Never! We will always suffer and not enjoy ourselves as long as we focus on what we don’t have, or what is wrong in our lives, or how we have been hurt, or what we didn’t get that we think we deserve. We will always suffer with any thought that keeps us separate from reality, from what is. Was I less than what I should be when I was having that thought? No. I am traveling the world and seeing incredible things that some will never have a chance to see in their life time, but in that moment seeing one of those things I felt like a failure. Why? Because I had attached to that thought and the emotion that came with it. I began to cry for my friends, family, dog, apartment, California, the ocean, you name it and I probably cried for that too. What have I done? Will I ever have a life like that again, or will I spend my time sleeping in uncomfortable beds, surrounded by strangers in a foreign land?

After talking with Kelsey I woke up a bit, back to my true self-the one that knows all, sees the bigger picture and is in tune with all that is. But I only woke up a little bit, I was still cranky and a bit sad. Then I had the brilliant idea of renting a car for a day and seeing this land on my own terms, not on some tour bus with a bunch of people and only being allowed to go to certain areas. On my own, going where ever I wanted to and seeing it all. So that is what I did. I felt moved to do it too. Like something greater than me was saying do this, it will be good. There really is not much out here, but the resort area and the rocks and lots of land. I drove to Kata Tjuta, also known as the Olgas. I hiked the Valley of the Winds hike, which was a 3 hour hike in over a hundred degree heat. It was magnificent. The beauty is astonishing. I also walked the Walpa Gorge, which has a beautiful view of two of the rocks that come together and form a V. I thought that is a V for victory, for over coming my madness and simply for making it this far, to this country. As I was driving out I saw two wild camels. Yes, there are wild camels in Australia, something I did not know. Brought here in the 1800’s, the population of them has grown into the millions making them a pest to many people in the area. I watched the sunset on Uluru and the many multitudes of colors that changed in the sky coupled with a double rainbow made for a fabulous end to my desert days. The rainbow was certainly a sign of blessings and good luck for the coming year. I woke up early the next day and watched the sunrise over Uluru. Another breathtaking event that brought a tear to my eye for the beauty that this world can behold. So many times I think we get down about all that is wrong with the earth and all the negative things that are going on, but what about all the beauty? It is always all around us, just look up. I finished with a short walk in Uluru called the Mala Walk. I listened to some chanting music from my dear friend and teacher Larisa Stow and the music coupled with the energy of the rock took me to an extremely blissful state. I made peace with the rock after cursing it a couple of days before. I thanked it for all of its teachings and blessings that it had given me. It was such a gift. I was reminded of the ways in which our mind can have a hold on us and I saw the areas in my life that I would like to improve upon and uplift .

All of this made me realize once again to be thankful for where I am and what I am doing. I love traveling so much and I have been given this gift, I chose then and there to appreciate every moment of this journey and not let my head get carried away with the should’s, could have’s, or if’s. This is great opportunity and I am going to take it and learn from it and expand and explore and dive deeper into the unknown and into myself. There is so much beauty and joy and it is always within our reach, but sometimes we are just too blinded by the junk to see it. Renting that car and seeing the Outback on my own was the best thing I did in the desert. It was magical and I got to see way more than I ever could on some tour bus surrounded by people with their cameras. The rock has changed me, made me put things into perspective. It is the third chakra of the world, which has to do with our dharma, or duty in this lifetime. I began thinking of the non-profit I would like to start. I began thinking of all the organizations and orphanages and places that I want to help out at. I want to see different cultures and learn new things through the people that live there, not in some travel guide or book.

I am on this journey for a reason, this I know for certain. I do not know what will come out of it, but I feel peace now for the choices that I made. The reality is that I am on it. I can’t fight reality, it just is. I choose now to be in each moment fully. To appreciate it fully. To stay tuned in and not allow myself to attach to thoughts or emotions, but to acknowledge them all. To acknowledge where I am in the moment and not judge it good or bad. To find joy in the moment. The Beatles really did have it right when they said “Love is All There Is.” Love is all there is and we can tap into it at any time, it really is that simple.

Love and light,

Erin